30 Signs You’re Turning 30

1. Your nose hairs tickle.

2. You can pull a muscle when adjusting your pillow.

3. You routinely go to concerts where the performers are younger than you, and now it’s starting to feel creepy.

4. You use the phrase “back in the day” and actually mean it.

5. You use “decades” as an actual unit of measurement.

6. You’re in a phase of life where you’re not really going to weddings, or even baby showers. No, you go to birthday parties. So many birthday parties.

7. Teenagers intimidate you.

8. You discover music really can be turned up too loud.

9. You have an unexpected draw to black and white movies.

10. The fact that 1997 was 20 years ago seems like a physical impossibility.

11. Quite often, you find yourself squinting to read signs.

12. You find a piece of technology that confuses you.

13. You rewatch movies you used to love as a kid, but now you find yourself relating more to the parents instead of the main characters.

14. You avoid playing Twister because you’re pretty sure it would result in either a lawsuit or severe injury. Most likely both.

15. People call you sir or madam, but it doesn’t bother you. Especially because the person who said it looks like they’re probably 12, which seems too young for a cashier at the grocery store, but who are you to judge?

16. You consider the time before deciding whether or not to enjoy a late night snack.

17. You have to remind yourself that you’re not in the same age category as the college interns.

18. You have check the “age 30–45” box on forms.

19. You’ve learned the hard way that it is possible to sit too much.

20. You are very aware of the number of calories you’re eating.

21. You read a Buzzfeed nostalgia list and discover that it applies to the generation after you.

22. You just now realized that your pop culture references are now nearing 20 years old, yet you still don’t understand why high schoolers don’t get Austin Powers references. (Fun fact: It came out in 1997. High School seniors were born in 1999.)

23. Sleep has literally become the most important thing in the world to you, yet it’s the thing you have the most trouble doing.

24. Going to the bathroom is an event, which requires planning and patience.

25. You have purchased what you consider to be sensible shoes.

26. You used to want to be normal, but now you’re most concerned with being regular.

27. You refer to “tapes,” yet don’t realize how outdated they are.

28. The best teacher you ever had was Mavis Beacon.

29. You think the music kids listen to these days is absolute garbage (or just noise).

30. You make decisions based on how your back, neck, knees or hips will respond to it.

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